If you’re reading this, you’re either bored or are gonna donate money to a great cause.
You may be donating in support of the cause in which case, you’re a tzaddik/tzaddekes and I’m proud to know you.
You may be donating for me at which point you’re a true legend and friend. Reach out and let’s grab dinner.
You may be donating because you want the chance to write something hilarious, embarrassing, or hilariously embarrassing at which point major props for beating me at my own game.
If you’re here just cuz you’re bored, get a life and donate to a great cause. Seriously. Infuse some meaning into your ridiculous procrastination.
Thank you all for coming, I hope you’ve made the right decision and donated a few bills to my campaign.